So disregard the nonsense about Adam Bostick and Willie Collazo and Joe Smith below -- the Mets on Tuesday afternoon abruptly changed course and recalled Claudio Vargas to the big club, along with Fernando Tatis, and re-activated reliever Matt Wise while designating both Nelson Figueroa and Jorge Sosa for assignment and putting outfielder Angel Pagan onto the disabled list.

While we applaud the Mets for being brave enough to sacrifice two players whose backstory (Figueroa) and contact (Sosa) might have won them chances better performing teammates might not have been given, the real story here is how the Mets will outfit Claudio Vargas -- the lefty released by the Brewers this spring -- in the same No. 39 jersey that injured prospect Jason Vargas was issued this spring (Jason Vargas wore 43 in his brief appearance last year). The newly arriving Tatis meanwhile will become the 29th wearer of the 17 jersey. Wise was and still is No. 38.

Both Figueroa and Sosa appear to have vanished from the Mets plans following respective poor performances Monday. MLB.com reported that the Mets were trying to trade Sosa -- they had during spring training as well -- and if he goes we'll remember him as the one spot-starter not to completely destruct in 2006. Figueroa and his luxury box full of Coney Island friends and family had a few nice starts before reminding us why he'd been without a big league job for so many years. We may see one or both back eventually -- Raul Casanova, after all, cleared waivers Tuesday and he's had as good a year as either of them.

With the New Orleans Zephyrs swept out of the AAA playoffs over the weekend, representatives of the losers arrived in time to see — and participate — in the worst display of Met baseball since the Art Howe Era.

Soft-tossing righty Brian Lawrence 54 stepped in and registered what we can only hope would be the last outing of his Mets career, coughing up a 4-run lead to Washington. Joe Smith 35 is back, but the velocity he sidearmed with earlier this year apparently didn’t come along with him. Ramon Castro 11 didn’t have the health to stick through short-season games with Brooklyn but is back here anyway. Weak-hitting utilityman David Newhan? Yes, he’s back too, still torturing Keith Hernandez in No. 17.

Perhaps the only interesting returnee from a unicentric standpoint is infielder Anderson Hernandez, who we last saw wearing No. 1 in July. Hernandez was recalled only to discover the Mets had issued No. 1 to Luis Castillo during Hernandez’ stay in New Orleans. No. 4 was hanging in his locker this time around. When he gets into a game, he’ll become the Mets’ 14th 15th player to wear No. 4, and the first since Chris Woodward a year ago Ben Johnson earlier this year. (Props to Gene, below for the correction).

Only time will tell whether this latest stumble is just another stumble or the beginnings of an historic collapse, but you can bet we’ll be here hating ourselves for watching every minute of it!

Unless something really unexpected happens, it appears Moises Alou 18 will become the 800th Met when the season begins a week from today.

Other first-time Mets would appear to be Damion Easley (No. 2), David Newhan (17), Aaron Sele (32), Scott Schoeneweis (60), Chan Ho Park (61) and “Bazooka” Joe Smith, who is, for all we know, still going around in the No. 70 jersey they assign to longshot bullpen wannabees. I made up that “Bazooka” nickname by the way, sort of. Remember Joe Smith, the basketball player? When he was a student at Maryland the school paper held a nickname contest to give him more pizzazz where ‘Bazooka’ was among the choices. I don’t think it ever stuck with that Joe Smith. We can’t let it go this time.

So what number does Bazooka Joe Smith get?

I don’t even have to look it up to tell you this is the first season the Mets began a year with two guys wearing numbers in the 60s.

Tim Bogar Lives (Aug. 30):The Mets this afternoon announced they had traded one-time prospect Victor Diaz, a former wearer of the 50 and 20 jerseys, to the Texas Rangers in exchange for minor league catcher Mike Nickeas. Ordinarily, we wouldn't get all excited over an exchange of minor leagers (Nickeas has been assigned to Class A St. Lucie), but this particular one provides hope that the Tim Bogar Trade Chain may live again after last rites had been administered. Bogar at the beginning of this season was the oldest Met who could be connected by trade to current Met(s), but Diaz' designation last week nearly spelled the end seeing as injuries already put the futures of pitchers Bartolome Fortunato and Victor Zambrano in similar danger. Bogar who debuted with the Mets in 1993, was traded to Houston for Luis Lopez, who went to Milwaukee for Bill Pulsipher, who went to Arizona for Lenny Harris, who went to Milwaukee for Jeromy Burnitz, whose trade to Los Angeles yeilded Victor Diaz and minor leaguer Joselo Diaz; the latter brought back Zambrano and  Fortunato in the regrettable Scott Kazmir trade. So here's to the future of young